Thank You For Being a Part of My Story

Hey guys, it’s Clay. I’m up a little bit later than usual. Hospitals aren’t the best for sleeping. I got up this morning feeling a little “blah”, so I ditched the hospital gown, and put on real clothes. Still just felt kind of “blah” but couldn’t put my finger on it. My blood count numbers are starting to drop again, which the doctors tell me means that the chemo is working. They also told me again today to “Listen to your body. It’s okay just to rest some days and do nothing.” It’s kind of tough to do when that doesn’t usually correlate with my typical lifestyle. But I did sleep and nap and felt better in the afternoon. I’d say maybe I slept a bit too much today, but it’s probably not true, because I’m still tired. I’m always tired. I fall asleep as soon as I sit still. I fall asleep mid-text with random, meaningless letters scrolled across the screen. Now I’m always cold, which is a new sensation for “the man who wishes he could always wear shorts.” But I digress, the real reason I’m up and typing, is that Joy challenged me to post about my day in my own words.

So as I sit here at midnight, tired and a little cold, alone in a hospital bed that is 4 hours from my home, (don’t worry Joy is still in town, but Covid limits my one allowed daily hospital visitor from 8 am – 8 pm), I hope you realize how important I want this message to you to be.

First, I want you to know that I am 100% sure that I would not be alive today if it wasn’t for God listening to prayers, laying his hands on people I’ve come in contact with in my life, and making things happen. I don’t want to put all of the individual stories here, that add up to my whole life over the past couple months. Maybe when all of this is over, I’ll write them all out in a blog that would impress Tarantino.

This leads to my main point, thankfulness. Of course I’m thankful for Joy in too many ways to list here. I also know without a doubt, that I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for her persistence and unrelenting love for me. I’m not even sure how to explain what an amazing person and spouse she is, or how I am amazed by her every single day. One thing I’m definitely thankful for is her doing the blogging, so I can take naps while we keep our friends and family informed of what’s going on with us.

I said all of that to say this.. If you are reading this blog since it started, or are reading it for the first time today, I wanted to say “Thank You”. I can’t look back on this unexpected, whirlwind of journey without seeing the interwoven effects of God’s hands being in control, and the love shared to our family from all of you. I can’t even begin to list names or all the actions of love. There are so many different people and families it has become overwhelming for me to sort out. Some people I have never even met in person. So many people have wanted to help, in any way they can, and mainly we’ve needed prayer, in all expressive forms. But sometimes we are often so involved in trying to survive, that we haven’t even known what we needed help with, but you just figured it out. We are well-beyond incredibly blessed to have so many friends, friends of friends, family members, friends of family members, coworkers, friends of coworkers, past coworkers, etc, which basically sums up an entire community that has reached out to us. People have opened their hearts, without us asking, and shown us an overwhelming amount of love through a servant’s heart. You have prayed for me and our family. You have fed us so many delicious meals. You have fed our kids when we were out of town. You have given our kids rides. You have cared for our pets. You have picked up our Amazon packages. You fixed my Jeep, as we wait to be reunited. You’ve given up sleeping in your own bed to sleep with and comfort our kids. You have shown compassion to our kids, who might not understand exactly what’s going on but are struggling. You have personally prayed with our kids. You’ve shown them the love of Christ through their church. You have understood that emotions are high, and sometimes staying home from school and crying is what a kid really needed most that day. You have gifted us all kinds of things that we don’t need or deserve, but have really enjoyed, except that horrible Rubik’s Cube. You have helped us with paperwork and insurance questions and homework and Zoom meetings. You have reworked our schedules, time and time again. You’ve prayed with me on the phone. You’ve prayed at home alone where no one has seen, and it has not gone unnoticed. You’ve brought us food and supplies to the hospital. You’ve sat with me at the hospital for 12 hours. You’ve prayed with and consoled our parents. You signed up for a blog or a text thread that you can’t figure out how to escape. I’m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. Whether you realize it or not, you have made our lives easier in some significant way, either physically or spiritually, and we will never be able to repay you. As I sit here tired and a little bit cold, I just want to make sure that you know that WE LOVE YOU. You have made us feel loved beyond measure. I couldn’t go through this without you. You are a part of my story.